Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

Dear Robin,

I had a tuna salad sandwich today, and it SUCKED - you taught me that tuna salad sandwiches are all about rye bread and fresh ground pepper. Remember that? Or macaroni and cheese with WAY too much butter? Or watching every Leo DiCaprio movie we could find? Or the guys who mooned us on Senior Ditch Day?

Remember when you told Liz you were worried about me - that you thought I had a drinking problem?

Well, you were right.

I wish I could have seen it then. I wish I could have turned TO you. Instead I turned FROM you.

I'm so sorry, Robin. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me.

I don't think I'll ever stop feeling guilty. I know that your death wasn't my fault...but I'll never stop believing that I could have prevented it. You always seemed to be better when I was around. I think it's because we weren't afraid to be broken, like the other girls who put on such tough fronts. We could be weak together.

I wish you could see me now. I wish I didn't feel like this is too little, too late.

I remember when I was so sick, and you jogged all the way to my house with Monty. I remember when you took me to see Prince and we fed him apples. I remember Senior Prom.

I remember how bright and sweet and beautiful you were.

I miss you, girlie.

Love,
Jacki