There's no place like home.

So we made it to Kansas, and it only took like TWICE AS LONG AS EXPECTED.

Friday was awesome. I got to visit some dear friends of the family and hang out with my baby sister and future brother in law. I love those kids more than anything. I think the highlight was dancing to Journey in the car.

So the three of us hung out until 2 AM, then they went home and I went to bed. Till 4 AM. *I* was packed and ready to roll by 5:30, but mama took her sweet time, so we didn't leave till 7.

She drove the 2 hours to Flagstaff...except a few miles south of Flagstaff, they closed the road. 6 car pileup. Said we'd be delayed for several hours. So we turned around and went back.

So, 4 hours on the road and we're...right back where we started, resigning ourselves to take the I-10 clear down to Tucson and through WAY more Texas than we want and then Oklahoma City and up into Kansas. So, I bust out the atlas and determine that we can take the 60 from Phoenix to Socorro, New Mexico and then up to Albuquerque to catch the 40. Mama puts her faith in my navigational abilities and we go for it.

At this point, I need a nap, so I doze off for about half an hour. I wake up as mama's getting off the freeway. She's nodding off; she figures we can nap for an hour. I volunteer to take over, I feel fine.

And here comes an important lesson:

It's not about where the road goes. It's about how it gets there.

Sure, the 60 took us to Albuquerque...but it did so through winding, snowy mountain roads. I keep saying "We've got to be almost out of the mountains!" and next thing I know, we're crossing the Continental Divide. And while I've NEVER driven in the mountains before, I have more experience driving in snow, so I do all the driving. Ten hours worth. On 2 hours of sleep. Bitching, raging, and shaking my fist about how there shouldn't be snow in APRIL. And there's NO cars on the road, probably because all the other drivers were smart enough not to go that way. And I can't use cruise control because the roads are slick.

Naturally, when it's pitch black and 25 degrees and snowing and windy and we're a billion miles from civilization...Princess Tiny Bladder here gets the call of nature. Let's just say I did my business and it was quite unpleasant and we'll never speak of it again.

We finally got out of the snow, out of the mountains, and out of Arizona. When we hit Socorro, mama wanted to stop for the night. I made with the atlasing again and determined that we were a mere hour's drive from Albuquerque and the 40. But my tailbone is in agony, I can't keep sitting. I beg mama to please please please drive the hour to Albuquerque so we can stay there for the night. I promise to stay awake with her, and I do, and we bed down in Albuquereque for the night, and it's sublime because I got to sleep and stretch out and things like that which I used to take for granted.

Sunday morning, fueled by a fruit and maple oatmeal from Mickey D's, we set out, with mama behind the wheel. We inadvertently made the proverbial wrong turn at Albuquerque, Bugs Bunny style. So we set out again, and got it right this time. It was all clear blue skies, wide open spaces, and smooth sailing...till it was time to pick up the 54 in Tucumcari.

There's ONE sign telling you which exit to take for the 54. And once you take that exit...nothing. You hit a 4-way stop and they don't tell you which way to go. So it took us three tries to go the right way. Dear New Mexico: fix your shit.

I fell asleep toward the end of Texas and snoozed all the way through the Oklahoma panhandle. Mama stopped in Liberal to let me take over since we were in my home state, even though I've never been through western Kansas. No sooner do I pull out of the gas station but I stop and shout "I think those cows are crossing the road!"

They were dogs. Not even really big dogs. I just...yeah, I got nothing. Herp da derp.

Anyhow, the remainder of the drive was without incident, and we rolled into Newton around midnight. We should be moving into our rental house tomorrow!