I could do a sad girl post breakup entry here, but what good would that do? It sucks, I'm sad, he hates me, I feel like the worst person ever, the end.
Instead I want to look ahead. This weekend I'm moving into MY OWN APARTMENT! On my own again for the first time in almost two years. I can't wait. But, I'm sure it will be weird at first, the empty house on top of the empty hours I used to spend with Eric. Last night I got to thinking about the things I would do with my newfound time and space:
1) Exercise! I'll have privacy to use my Gazelle, and space to spread out my yoga mat. In addition to the Gazelle, I have an ab circuit I've been wanting to try, and I'm going to commit to the 100 Pushups/150 Dips challenge.
2) Reading. I have almost a dozen books that people have lent me that I haven't read. And now I have a nice little porch to lounge around on. It's high time I hit the books.
3) Creating. I need to finish all my existing knitting and crochet projects. No more new yarn until I do. And I want to make fun, useful things for my apartment. I have the skill, I just need the discipline.
4) Folding. I have a looong way to go on my 1000 Paper Cranes Challenge.
5) Writing. NaNoWriMo may be long over, but I still have a novel to finish and edit and prepare for submission. And because I have project ADD, I'm thinking about starting a new one for Camp NaNo this summer.
Things change, life goes on, and gradually the healing takes place, seeming, as always, that it isn't taking place.
The parallels in time... March/April, for me, was a time of change and challenges, and I believe the need for measurable (though at times small) accomplishments is a means to produce a greater good for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteCircular to say: I accomplished a list (a synopsis) of my life's accomplishments (so far.) In doing this, there was a realization that there was so much I left out, and would have to spend a geometrically increasing amount more time contemplating what I have done/accomplished in this life, as well as trying to find how I might have affected others positively (how many students, friends, family, complete strangers and acquaintences).
I'll be happy with my rough synopsis, and move on, knowing/feeling that I have done much and have much yet to do.
To say that I see this in you, would that be okay?
- B
B, everything you say is at least okay with me :)
ReplyDelete